Misadventures in marketing

I lost this blog – I forgot about it, I decided not to keep it because I didn’t understand how it worked. I now understand how blogs work, roughly, having kept one for nearly two years elsewhere.

This one is interesting because yesterday my partner S and I – who haven’t spoken for a year, agreed to close down our bank account. Here endeth the misadventure in marketing.

I have a Google blog now – and that is more than enough.

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???!!! Possibly related posts…

How does that work?  Four totally irrelevant posts from completely different directions – does this mean my posts are appearing as suggestions at the bottom of someone else’s blog? Will they be similarly annoyed to be directed to my quality witterings?

Cannot work out what algorithm dictated that those 4 were in any way related to mine… or is it because they have advertising attached that webpress is bound to redirect you to them to fulfill some Faustian pact of their own?   Since no one is reading this, I cannot reasonably expect any answers.

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The Empire grows…

Well, not that much.  Simply went to see a friend, and we had a long talk and she had plenty of ideas, including one that I could probably sell to the local bus company.  She also suggested we ‘sponsor’ a launch party at the gallery in December… very kind and helpful.  But it gives me more to think about, and gives us more dates in our diaries.

Meanwhile, the anorexic N does not want food again tonight… why not?  “Little English” he says… he can’t understand any more than I can.  If he just wants to sit in the room with his computer, very well… but it is odd.

K and I discussed the airport.  Her view is that if it could be restricted to passengers it would be OK – since they wouldn’t want or need night flights.  No one understands why green beans should need night flights.  On the whole, it makes about as much sense having an airport in Padstow – we really don’t need one here.  In my dreams it will be ploughed up for cabbage fields – although a housing estate is more likely. 

This afternoon I spent about two hours inputting the details of possibly useful publications for our client(s).  I am not convinced that the MediaUK site is exhaustive… where are all the top shelf mags?  And their tags don’t work well, a search for architecture didn’t bring up AJ – although it is on the site.  Moan, moan.  I did find a glorious mag called Parrots – if only I’d had that when Olly – the African grey – was alive.  What is it about parrots?  I could look at pictures of them for hours, but my god they can be a bore to own.

Anyway, at least I was working and not faffing about.  I also had to go and buy F’s birthday presents – and bought myself some emergency smart clothing as well.  Have come to the conclusion that a nice cardi is an acceptable alternative to the smart jacket… in these softer, more feminine days.  These clothes today came under the heading of ’emergency’ clothing, since it is now winter and the heating is on, and I need trousers which aren’t jeans and skirts which aren’t flimsy.

The big question now is whether I shall continue to work this evening, or whether I will get up hideously early and write my client piece then… I need a break I think.

Today was apparently the last sunny day – it was very beautiful, and I went past as much of the sea as I could on my journey to K’s.  It was hazy, and the tide was low, and threatening clouds were appearing.  Another of the many atmospheric days we have.  I am not really looking forward to the winter, but there seems to be so much to do that perhaps I won’t really notice it that much.

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Today…

I think I might be getting the hang of this.  I woke up at about 5.00 feeling vaguely worried about the foreign language student who is staying with us.  He has been here 2 days and has only eaten a slice of bread and jam, some grapes and some yorkshire pudding.   Does he think we are trying to poison him?  Or that our food is all secretly contaminated with pig fat.  Is it because the roast beef wasn’t halal?  Or does he just hate my cooking.  That would put him into a very tiny minory of people in this corner of the county… what shall I do? Maybe he’s anorexic/neurotic.  M challenged him and asked him about food.  N then showed him some dates.  He’s here for 14 weeks – is he going to be eating just dates over Christmas?  M decided we should get rid of him.  I am not so bothered, just thinking about the money.  He’s no trouble, although I think his computer interferes with the radio signal… I am discouraging N&F from thinking he may be a terrorist.  He’s only 18, he’s probably homesick and he can speak very little English.  I wish I could do more than smile and be kind to him.

Having got up to do some useful work, I have of course done none.  Blogging doesn’t count.   I got one amazing thing though – a raving comment on Authonomy – a site I put my MS on in March – which encourages me to write to some more agents.  I will get AFY published eventually, I know, I just wish it wasn’t taking so long.

Today’s tasks: distribute book to Book Group, see friend/potential supplier about her using her gallery for our clients, buy birthday presents for F (13 on Thursday) and then absorb a lot of biog. material about client to write a spiel about them…. and maybe, maybe try and write 1 agent letter tonight.

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Will I ever…

get this flipping thing working for me, instead of against me?

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Hello world!

This is, I must remember, a PR sort of blog, so I must say nothing about our clients, and be generally incredibly polite.  This will be a tremendous struggle for me – maybe I should start the official version of the blog – using the business’s real name for PR purposes, and put the real stuff here.,  A samizdat blog perhaps – but eventually the powers that be would get hold of it and find out my inner blog life… and then I would have to go to corporate Siberia…

Fortunately, as this is a start-up, we have only one official client so far, and two in the offing (meetings pending).  And our client are cool – this is because it is a two-person outfit, hence deviation from grammar, which I think I might indulge in in this blog since I have to be so damn perfect about it the rest of the time.  Also, although I am a naturally fluid and almost flawless writer, I usually edit things before I send them, and these days I don’t have time to edit my own things, so this will be a wartz and all blog, and if I ever attract any readers they can be assured that pedantic comments will already have been anticipated and will be otiose due to my own natural command of the English language.

Oh no – now I’ve lost all the people who hate arrogant prats… such a loss, and it would include myself no doubt were I confronted with the above paragraph in another blog.

Apparently blogs are no fun unless they are visited by people, and the reason I am doing this blog is (a) to practice writing one, because my client wants one… and (b) because I need to apparently, according to my friend A, a freelance journalist.   She says I should use it to recount my publishing adventures. 

What adventures?   So far have had enthusiasm about my unpublished novel, A Formative Year, from 3 agents, and one gave me the daft idea that she was taking me on – which led to a sequence of events and emotional activity that would have provided a very good sequel to the novel itself. 

But I digress (I will, you know).  Our PR company was set up on 17th September, but has not yet gone public.  That was the date of our first meeting with an agenda.  We decided to do it because we were unemployed and no one had a PR & Marketing company in this area – or not a proper one anyway. 

We had both been turned down for jobs at the local economic regeneration project (an Art Gallery) – I’ve never quite worked out how this works.  If you put an art gallery or a concert hall in a place with a largely C2D population with very low levels of educational attainment somehow the place becomes mysteriously bourgeois as a result of the redemptive powers of art.  I suspect this is because lots of said bourgeoisie move there – displacing disgruntled natives, hanging out in coffee shops and bistros, starting delis, cake companies and PR consultancies… and how exactly has this helped the educational attainments of the local population, or improved the lot of people with only manual labour skills in an area where there is very little manual labour? (except on the land, which is apparently (according to local judgment, I cannot vouch for it myself) beneath their dignity, because they have a BTEC in Sports Science or Travel & Tourism, and therefore are much too good to pick cauliflowers.)

Have you worked out whose side I’m on yet?  No? Good.   Must go and get the supper sorted out.

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